Career Goals: To bring efficiency and elegance to the process of purchasing bath fashions on the wholesale market for a major retailer in a slightly larger city than Springfield.
| 1992 - Present | Director of Bath Fashions George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio I supervised numerous other people who bought shower curtains for the store. |
| 1988 - 1992 | Associate Director of Bath Fashions George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio I helped the Director supervise other people who bought shower curtains for the store. |
| 1986 - 1988 | Assistant Associate Director of Bath Fashions George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio I assisted the Associate Director in helping the Director supervise other people who bought shower curtains for the store. |
| 1985 - 1986 | Under-Assistant Associate Director of Bath Fashions George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio I aided the Assistant Associate Director in assisting the Associate Director in helping the Director supervise other people who bought shower curtains for the store. |
| 1983 - 1985 | Junior Under-Assistant Associate Director of Bath Fashions George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio I gave a hand as needed to the Under-Assistant Associate Director in aiding the Assistant Associate Director in assisting the Associate Director in helping the Director supervise other people who bought shower curtains for the store. |
| 1974 - 1983 | Shower Curtain Buyer George's Department Store, Springfield, Indihio In spite of considerable help received from management, I was somehow able to buy all the damned shower curtains for the store. |
| 1970 - 1974 | B.A. Retailing, Cum Laude, Springfield Community College, Springfield, Indihio |
| 1966 - 1970 | Millard Fillmore High School, Springfield, Indihio |