The *Official* FAQ of =====The League to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur===== (a.k.a. "The Jihad of the Old Ways[tm]") DISCLAIMER: The League to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur (also known as "The League") claims no membership in The Jihad to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur nor in any of its Jihad Autonomous Organizations. The League claims no dominion in The Jihad, and it rejects any Jihad control over League activities. ***TABLE OF CONTENTS*** I. Current Membership A. Leaders - League High Council B. Officers C. Members-at-Large II. Origins III. Nature and Operation of The League IV. Primary Stipulations of The League V. CENTRAL TENETS of The League A. The Threefold Wisdom B. The Threefold Corollary C. The Corollary Social VI. Awards and Honors of The League VII. Parting Notes and Membership Information Leaders (League High Council): *Sage Primus: Wayne Matthew Syvinski, syvinski@badlands.nodak.edu Sage Secundus: Mentat, rbrian@ccnet.com Sages Auxiliary: *The Sage Primus also has the title "Guardian of The Old Ways of the Jihad" Officers: Magistrate-General: Charge d'Affaires: Induction Chief: HiPaladin, placenci@chaph.usc.edu Affiliate Chief: Preceptors-at-large: Darren Gedye, D.Gedye@irl.cri.nz Gremlin, AnavrinFan@aol.com Probationary Preceptors: Jesse McGrew, jessem@comtch.iea.com ORIGINS: The League has its origins in The Jihad to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur, which began on August 18, 1993. However, due to great dissatisfaction with the direction of the Jihad, one if its members, Wayne Syvinski, resigned and formed a new anti-Barney group on October 29, 1994. October 29 shall hereafter be known as League Independence Day, and August 18 known as Founder's Day. The reasons for the split are as follows: 1. A strong dislike for pseudo-theology and the illicit use of religious terms. 2. A severe departure from the original ideas and ideals of the Jihad to Destroy Barney, and a realization that such could not be preserved in the current structure and atmosphere of the Jihad. 3. A distaste for the pseudomilitarist activity in the Jihad. 4. The preference of Jihaddi for flaming people rather than criticizing ideas. NATURE AND OPERATION OF THE LEAGUE: The League to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur, in keeping with the original spirit of the Jihad to Destroy Barney, is dedicated ENTIRELY to intellectual and philosophical discourse against Barney. In fact, the League is also known as "The Jihad of the Old Ways[tm]." Its members are known as *Preceptors*. There is no pseudomilitarist activity allowed WHATSOEVER. Due to the strong historical and ideological ties of the League to the Jihad, The League considers itself historically, and in large part philosophically, part of the Jihad. However, this tie does not extend to its authority structure. This idea is expressed in our use of the word 'jihad'. That it, the 'jihad' is the original ideal and mission of August 18, 1993. The original jihad now has two historical outgrowths: The Jihad (whose members are "Jihaddi"), and The League (whose members are "Preceptors"). The members of both groups are 'jihaddi'. We use this terminology to emphasize The League's tie to the Jihad's original ideals. The League will not have its primary operation in alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die. Rather, operations will be conducted in alt.tv.dinosaurs.barney.die.die.die. This may change according to newsgroup availability on different servers. The League need not be monolithic - a confederation of affiliated groups, all coming under the auspices of The League, is welcome and encouraged. These affiliated groups will be known as Confederated League Organizations (CLOs) The League has its immediate roots in The Ancient Guild of Jihad Philosophers, as per its ideals and primary modus operandi. In this spirit, I hereby open the first CLO, The Ancient Order of League Philosophers. *PRIMARY STIPULATIONS* OF THE LEAGUE: The Primary Stipulations[tm] of The League to Destroy B'harni the Dinosaur represent the primary points of ideological difference with the Jihad to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur, with the exception of Stipulation 1, upon which The League and The Jihad agrees. In other words, Stipulations 2-5 are where The League and The Jihad have most of their differences. 1. A dislike for B'harni is strictly required. 2. No pseudomilitarist activity is allowed. 3. No pseudotheology or co-opting of any religious terminology is allowed. 4. All responses to those posting in favor of B'harni must contain lucid commentary. 5. Preceptors are to consider The League to be the repository and preserver of The Old Ways[tm] of the Jihad to Destroy B'harni the Dinosaur, as per the spirit of the earliest days of the Jihad. *CENTRAL TENETS* OF THE LEAGUE: Some notes are in order here. The Central Tenets[tm] of The League are derived from The Central Truths[tm] of the Jihad. The League's Central Tenets are in line with the Primary Stipulations and The Old Ways[tm]. A short comparison of terms is in order, however. LEAGUE JIHAD Central Tenets Central Truths Threefold Wisdom Threefold Truth Threefold Corollary Threefold Corollary Corollary Social Corollary Politick 1. The Threefold Wisdom a. B'harni is extremely insipid and inspires the same in its followers. b. B'harni seeks a vast expansion of its dominion. c. B'harni must be eliminated. All League activity is to be conducted in light of this statement. 2. The Threefold Corollary a. Minions cannot survive without B'harni. b. B'harni cannot survive without minions. c. Therefore, attacks against B'harni are effective against minions, and attacks against minions are effective against B'harni. 3. The Corollary Social a. No topics of a political nature are to be discussed by members of The Leauge while acting in their capacity as Preceptors. b. There is strictly NO bastardization of religious terminology or theology allowed. c. No commentary of global, foreign, or domestic societal conditions are to be discussed except inasmuch as they relate to B'harni's influence on society and/or B'harni's demise. AWARDS AND HONORS OF THE LEAGUE: -STAR OF THE PHILOSOPHER The *Star of the Philosopher* is bestowed upon Preceptors for posts of EXCEPTIONAL clarity, lucidity, and insight which, in the judgement of the League High Council, become part of the very fabric of the League's philosophical base due to the landmark nature of said posts. Signification: SP -STAR OF THE SCHOLAR Similar to the Star of the Philosopher, except that this award is bestowed upon the initative of the Sage Primus alone. It may be awarded for posts which, while significant, do not quite make landmark status. Signification: SS -SEMPER FIDELIS MEDAL This award is bestowed upon Preceptors who show unswerving loyalty to the Old Ways[tm] of the jihad, which are the ways of The League, over an extended period of time, hence the name "Semper Fidelis" - "Always Faithful". The Magistrate-General must recommend the candidate before the League High Council will consider the Preceptor for this award. Signification: SF PARTING NOTES: It is realized that The League will likely not become as large or as far-reaching as The Jihad. That, however, is immaterial. The League was formed in an effort to preserve the original ideals and spirit - The Old Ways[tm] - of The Jihad. To this end, no affiliation is claimed with The Jihad whatsoever, in order to preserve League autonomy. If you are interested in becoming a Preceptor, please e-mail to Preceptor Induction Chief HiPaladin, placenci@chaph.usc.edu. -- Fight the Good Fight (All Flames will be summarily ignored) HiPaladin Chief Induction Officer of The League to Destroy B'rney the Dinosaur