Warez News.  Issue 12  Volume 2.  

Warez News.  The definitive guide for the #warez channel.  Read it.  Know
it.  You will be tested on it.  It is released weekly, on no specific day,
and will include the latest release dates, new rumours, new releases, and
anything else I deem newsworthy.  For you people out there in BBS land
that read this (and I know there are a few) ignore the crap about the
channel, you're not in it, so you don't know.  And YES I am a real bitch:)

	Again, please send this to EVERYONE you know.  And please don't
friggin ask me all the time more questions about what I write in here. 
Everything I know, you will know *IF* you read this.  I won't tolerate any
bullshit.  Anyway, here we go, and enjoy.

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GAMES

Magic Carpet is a new game from Bullfrog.  Bullfrog has released some of 
the best games in recent memory, such as Syndicate and Populous, and with
this one, they really keep on a great track.  Magic Carpet definetely is
among the top 5 games released this year, possibly the best all year.
Well, onto the review.  The game is basically a flight simulator, but a
very simplistic one, mainly because you are on a magic carpet, flying
around.  No muddled cockpit with thousands of commands to figure out, like
most other flight sims.  This is just flying around on a magic carpet,
casting spells and whatnot.  Graphics?  Stunning, some of the best coding
for polygon rendering and all that snazzy crap with gouraud shading and
stuff.  I don't know what all that means, but basically this game looks
really nice, and has tons of attention paid to detail.  The sound is
excellent, I hear (no GUS support, only FM music through SBOS), and the
music is very nice (even crappy FM music sounds really nice), very haunting
music that fits the game perfectly.  The game is simple, your are a wizards
apprentice.  Your wizard cast a spell to gain dominance over the world, but
it killed him and destroyed the balance in the world, it's your job to
restore the balance to the world.  You do this by flying around on your
magic carpet and collecting "Manna" which is the energy of the world.  Once
you collect a certain amount of manna, kills x monsters, and do x tasks,
you restore that part of the world and you can move to the next level.  Of
course, there are other wizards out to kill your ass, and monsters flying
all around.  Well anyway, at the expense of being concise, this is a great
game.  There are 3 versions floating around.  a 52 disk rip, a 22 disk rip,
and a 10 disk rip.  If you have the space, go for the 22 disks, it has all
the cut scenes between stages as well as the end of the game, which is
worth it I guess.. You aren't missing much in the 10 disk version, the
movies aren't that great considering the space they waste.  The 52 disk
version is a total waste of time, 78 meg intros that last 90 seconds really
dont cut it..  I give this game an A.  Destined to become a classic.

A game called Retribution was released recently, since I don't dl crappy
games, here's a review from Case:

Well, here's my review of Retribution:

Game: Retribution
Released by: Gremlin Interactive
Rating: 4.5

Well, a bunch of people might disagree with me, but to bad :>

This game in my opinion is not worth the download, let alone
the $$$ to actually BUY the damn thing.

Basically, it's a flight-sim/1st person shoot-em-up/Do your
mission and save your race thing. The general story or so I
gather, is your a Federation Pilot, and your at war with some
dudes called Krellans, and your first mission is to bomb some
base and shoot some fighters.

Well, some of the graphics are really well done, and some faces
actually get on par with Tie fighter or sum such, it's ok. But
the actually Flight part of it sucks, excluding some rounded
objects, the ground appears angular, and Obviously computer
generated. Not exactly seamless if ya get my drift.

Well, as for the controls, I fried my SB, so I cant use my
gravis gamepad, so I had to make do with the mouse and keys, and
trust me, Keys alone is better, the mouse is to damn jerky,
and the ship, which handles like a cow to begin with, is 10
times worse.

I dunno, maybe I am biased towards flight sims/space games 1st
person, but I'll take Star Control 2 over this crap any day.

Only good thing about this game, no SUBST shit, no shitty cracks,
the crack was well done, unless I missed some mid-game second doc
check, and it's make boot disk option works ok for me, on a 4Mb
486/25sx, so consider that minimum, although I guess it works on
386's too, if they have 4Mb or more.

Welp, thats my review, my opinion, sit back with WC or Star Control 2
before you waste time downloading this.

Latah
Case


Aladdin came out for PC after being released for SNES and Sega over a year
ago.  It's basically the same as both of those systems except its like
three times the size.  I say buy a snes for 80$ and a copier for like 350$
and you'll never touch any of this crap on PC.  Rating: N/A, I didn't play
it, and don't care about it.

Virtuoso and Cyclones are two new Doom clones.  They both suck according to
multiple sources, I haven't played them for the aforementioned reason about
not downloading crap.  I recommend against both of em.

Space Federation, Interplay's long awaited Star Reach also came out.  This
game might be a beta, but it's playable.  Basically a space-based resource
management game like MOO and whatnot, this is a decent game.  I didn't play
much, but people that got into it thought it was ok.  I didn't play enough
to rate it. I'm too busy playing Magic Carpet and Legend of Kyrandia 3
(CDROM ONLY).


Alien Logic.  CD Rip of a RPG from SSI.  No one can get it to work and the
pictures look like shit anyway.  SSI can't code for their lives.  Don't
bother.

Metal Marines.  Some chez Windows game.  No one played it.

Unnecessary Roughness 95.  Football game.  Wow.  It sucks.

Links 386 Pro Gold CD Ultra Huge Jamming Pro Thingie (I dunno the full name
its some hyped crap) is a CD rip of the Links386 game with a shitload of
courses and addons.  It's big.  Whatever.  Same as the old Links.  Neat if
you like golf.

Due in the upcoming week are Rise of the Triad and Heretic (the best of the
Doom clones).  I might even DL these puppies since they promise to have
some snazzy features.  Read old warez news' for more info on these games.

Wing Commander 3 is OUT.  I'm buying it tomorrow.  4 CDROMs.  There will be
no rip.  Don't ask dumbass questions.

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APPLICATIONS/UTILITIES

Jack shit came out in the way of utils/apps.  Ray Dream Designer was
announced by the company that makes it, but it hasn't hit stores yet I
guess.  RDD is a program that does snazzy shit with image editting like
allow you to paint in 3D and other stuff like that.  Highly recommended
once it gets out.

Windows NT Build 854 is very buggy and unstable.  Recommended against.
Stick with 807.  The new features are minimal (lame new interface that I
didn't use, and some more console options) and not worth the hassles (weird
problems with granularity and occasional system failures among the most
commons bugs, but I've noticed others).

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EDITORIALS

A little thing that some guys thought up who want to remain anonymous
(wasn't me):


A brief one line description of all our bed buddies, written by
Anonymous, Anonymous, and Anonymous.


Rebel:  Tall, Black, Naked, Fat, Homothexual, likes the word penis.
Revelate:  Nimbus's secret lover,  likes erotic christmas carols.
Low_Rider: the brothaz hear me hitt'n from 50 blocks away.
W_length- M00000000000000000000000000000!!!!!!!  Fat, Cow, eats grass.
Byte:  Bitchy lesbian.  I'm right, you're wrong, just drop it.  That sucks.
Asclep:  I enjoy being called ASSFLAP.  My wife is really hot, i have pics.
Barnabus:  I'm just a sassy froo.  My dream is high ascii in UNIX..
Dak_:  My wife is hot, I have pictures!!!!!!!
at:  whahahahahaha :)))))))))
CP:  If you own anything, mine is better. I work in a cubical, yet I'm GOD 
pot:  I'm going to buy a 18 wheeler to carry my speakers next fall...
hfrost:  i'm just a lonely homotextual.  Rebel, will you marry me?
Lenin:  I just don't understand why girls don't like me..
Eagle_1:  I Idle, therefore, I am.
amm:  I flunked chem..
Lorax:  I wish I could think of a nick... uh.. lorax? hrm.. who? oh yeah..
Twicked:  I enjoy flooding in caps, and mudding.  
EuroFreaks: WHY FOR YOU NO WAREZ NEW ME FOR ?????  :(((((((((((
Vector:  My invite list is bigger than yours!  
Playmate:  I think Lenin is stalking me, and it makes me wet!!!!!
Mare:  I really wanted to end my life when I got married.. I'm in ace of base
Psyberman:  Hey anyone got the password for that 127.0.0.1 site?!#%????
Othello:  I really like Ace Of Base, I'm just afraid to admit it.
TI_Master:  My DX2/80 is hotter than Rebel with a sthiffy!
Bourbon:  I can thpeak in tongues!
Jizmak:  Shutup about my fucking long address for the 500000th time!!!!!!%#
DW:  I was on Elusive when I was in my mother's womb.
Enigma:  My conferences suck.  Really, I know what I'm doing! Really I swear!
X:  I have a one charactor nick, which is 88 decimal, and 58 hex.
Aquaman:                                        penis.    :)
DrS:  I code, therefor, I am.  (DrDCC 95! Avaliable first quarter '95)
TheNot:  WHY NO WAREZ NEW HAVE ME FOR?????? :(((((((((((
Comp:  WHY NO WAREZ NEW HAVE ME FOR?????? :(((((((((((
Schizm:  NOONE can spell my nick!!!  I like it that way!  I'm dumb. I'm dumb.
c-monster:  If Byte buys me VC++ I'll port IrcII to NT for him!  
Rigor:  I think I'm a female, and it's my goal to persuade someone that I am.
timbomb:  Anyone got any microsoft warez?!?  any NT warez?!# I'm not a narc!!
Pic9:  I'm lame, I know it, doesn't that make me a good person?
Rifle_Man:  Rifle_Man is my master, what more can be said.
Squig:  Damn I wish rebel would change my o: to an O:...
G-Man:  You're an admin?  Oh.. welcome to Drive By Net!!
KL:  Now, I can setup an IRC Server on a dynamic ip can't I???  (hohoho)
Hellboy:  I got busted for kiddie pr0n, wanna play hide the sausage?
ripjack:  I crack for food.
Crackpot:  What?#%?   Nobody wants that horse racing program???????
Hacker:  alt-h?   what would thaNO CARRIER
Darkgoob:  I'm a goober baby, so why don't you kill me.
Fx2:  What does a .newsrc file do???  What format is it in??

Another quick commentary on the state of things by OS:

	Origin Who?

	Yeah, so when I was home over Thanksgiving break, I was rummaging
through my closet in my room, when what before my wondering eyes should
appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny -- 

ahem. well... wrong reference.

	No, seriously. I was rummaging through my closet, and I ran across
my old "Ultima V: The Warriors of Destiny" game. Now, I had played the shit
out of that game when I originally bought it (yes folks, I actually BOUGHT
that game... foreign concept to most of you I know... but that's a story for
uncle OS to tell later) and I LOVED it. That's right, I said I LOVED it. The
plot kicked ass, the interface was comfortable, the combat was turn-based,
which ruled, and the magic system was the absolute shit. To anyone that's
never played Ultima V and is going, "What, is that an OLD GAME? lamer..."
you can suck large amounts of fecal matter. I don't care how old the game
is, it rocks the shit out of most games on the market today.

	I don't sound too bitter, do I?

	Anyway, lemme cut to the chase here. The point of this article is
that Origin used to KICK ASS... MAJORLY. It wasn't even funny how much ass
Origin used to kick. They kicked so much ass at one point, that every
computer gamer in America literally couldn't sit for two weeks, because
their asses were so sore. I'm told Ultima IV ruled. I have it on my HD as we
speak. I'm just waiting for a chance to play it. Ultima V ruled. Ultima VI
was fun stuff. Ultima VII was mediocre. As far as I'm concerned, Ultima VIII
didn't exist.

	Are we seeing a pattern here? 

	For all you slow-learners, I'll spell it out, nice and slow...
	
	Ultima IV -- awesome
	Ultima V -- kick ass
	Ultima VI -- very good
	Ultima VII -- mediocre
	Ultima VIII -- shitty... is this really an RPG?

	So the question is, what happened to Origin?

	I truly have no idea. All I know, is that at one point, Origin was
bar none my favorite game company. All that began to change in about 1991. I
think 1991 was when Wing Commander ][ was released, which was also a kick
ass game. But... since then, Origin has NOT... I repeat NOT... coded a good
game for themselves in three years. Ultima Underworld doesn't count because
Looking Glass developed that. Neither does system shock. 

	So, we look at a few titles Origin has coded since 1991. Ultima VII
we know is mediocre. Ultima VIII might as well be called, "Ultima VIII:
Prince of Persia in PaganLand". Hell, if this continues, Ultima IX will have
no role-playing elements whatsoever. Why? Because they are extraneous in
that ridiculous interface. I was talking to Borad, and I seriously think
that in order to get more bucks, Origin is going to call up ID and get them
to code the interface for Ultima IX. So, we'll end up with "Ultima IX: Hell
on Britannia", or, to borrow Borad's title, "Ultima IX: Avatar's Revenge".

	Oh goody. Just what we need, another doom clone.

	I think what I'm trying to say in this mostly pointless and
extremely abrasive article is that Origin has SOLD OUT. And they weren't
even subtle about it. You wonder why the interface for Ultima VIII was so
arcadish? It's for easier porting to the damn game platforms! Mark my
words... we'll be seeing Ultima VIII commercials on TV for SEGA 32X pretty
soon.

	I think I'll probably kill myself when that happens. =o

-- OS  (11/28/94)

PS if you think this article sucks, well...

just back off man. I'm an EE

=D


Official goat of the week : Fx2.  Basically a moron.

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NEWS FROM THE CHANNEL


DriveByNet 3 is up and running.  If you don't know what I'm talking about,
you either aren't on it, or you're Fx2 and barely know your name as well.
No splits, no desynch, and most wonderfully of all, no euros!  Well very
few at least and I can deal with most of them.  The net is working well, so
we don't need anymore servers, and EFNet has practically fallen to pieces
so it's a good thing we got out when we did.

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That's it for another exciting issue of #warez-news.  Upload this to all
your favorite boards and stuff, start getting the InterNet crowd some new,
REAL faces from the real world.  We need more real users, and less of
these fuckin local lamers who haven't called a board in their life.  If
this offends you, GOOD, that's my goal.

#warez-News (C) 1994.

-- Your Favorite #warez Lesbian

12/12/94.


